The Guru

Dear Guru -Why is it that I always seem to have a crush on the same type of guy? I just don’t understand why!

To fully understand why people are continuously attracted to the same sort of person, you don’t have to look any farther than your local mall.

It’s all about shopping. Seriously.

When people shop, both men and women, they normally stay with the same stores or designers. Retailers call it “brand loyalty” — but it all breaks down to knowing what you like.

The same goes for crushes.

Obviously there are some key characteristics about each of these men that you find attractive.

Maybe they are all funny and make you laugh. Maybe they are all chivalrous and make you sigh. Or, maybe they are gorgeous and make you just plain horny.

Whatever it is, it shows up in all of them.

And that’s what makes you like them.

Some theories blame it all on biology. Claiming that our genes predispose us to be attracted to certain people through pheromones for the continuation of humanity.

But honestly, with all the perfumes and colognes we spritz ourselves with daily, I have a feeling our pheromone detectors are slightly skewed.

Thanks Chanel No. 5.

There is nothing wrong with always falling for the same type of person. What that means is you have a selective idea of what is appealing. To you, arrogance may be more attractive than intelligence, or humor more attractive than looks.

For my one friend, the sound of a Ford F 150 is all she needs to get her engine revved up.

Of course, there are the Freudian theories of being attracted to someone like your parents. Now while this Oedipedial idea is scary, there is a small — very, very small — amount of truth in it.

Now I am not trying to accuse everyone of wanting nothing more than to jump in bed with Daddy (ewwww).

Instead, it’s important to realize that you are attracted to what is normal, to that which is familiar to you. So, if your father happens to have a quick temper, you may be attracted to someone with a quick temper; because you are used to dealing with that trait.

What is important is to decide whether you are happy with your crushes or not.

A dear friend of mine has a problem of constantly falling for Catholic ex-football players from northern Virginia. You would think that after the third failed relationship she would expand her playing field.

But not her. It’s almost like she has some kind of radar for these men. And quicker than you can say “touchdown,” she is hooked.

However, if you actually achieve success with your crushes, then there is no need to worry. It is perfectly normal to continuously want the same type of person. But variety is never bad.

So just because a guy is more Gap than Gucci, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try him on.