Recent grads in a
holding pattern
Rhoda Fukushima / Knight Ridder
Newspapers (KRT)
Life after college is keeping Charles Barton, Emily Koller,
Tola Oyewole and Shen Wei busy.
– Augsburg College grad Barton mentors at-risk kids and
just got another job running a pre- and after-school care
program as he searches for full-time work as a teacher.
– Koller, a communications grad from Macalester
College, took a job at a health-care consulting firm to pay
the bills. She is also planning her wedding.
– Oyewole, a University of Minnesota marketing grad who
dreams of going into business with Puff Daddy, just started
graduate school.
– Shen, an aspiring fine-arts photographer out of
Minneapolis College of Art and Design, found a job as a
photographer's assistant in New York.
Not until late January did all four have a common evening
free – Friday, of all nights – for a mid-year
roundtable discussion. With Shen on a speaker phone from New
York and the other three in person, they talked about life,
love and the pursuit of the perfect job.
Here are excerpts from their conversation.
HAS THIS FIRST YEAR BEEN WHAT YOU EXPECTED?
Barton: My mom left (for New Mexico), and my sister left (for
the U.S. Marines Corps). That's been a big thing. I
thought I could student teach and then sub right away instead
of waiting around. I got another job through the Y working at
a school in Eden Prairie running a morning program and an
after-school program. Plus, I'm doing the mentoring.
I'm hanging out on the subbing for right now.
Koller: I knew I'd be working. I guess I thought I'd
naturally be doing something challenging and related to what
I did in college because you work so long for something. The
"Office" sitcom on TV had no meaning for me. Now,
unfortunately, it all makes sense. And just having such a
structured lifestyle is different.
DO YOU FEEL MORE OR LESS INDEPENDENT NOW?
Koller: I never lived off campus during college. I never had
my own car. Now suddenly, I'm buying my own groceries,
paying my own bills, buying my own car, living in my own
apartment. Suddenly, every decision is completely my own. My
parents are like, "Well, we don't really care. Go
ahead. You can buy your own car." I don't have to
answer to anyone anymore.
Barton: The relationship between my dad and me has changed a
lot since I moved back. We're more roommates. It's
lovely. I come and go as I please. He comes and goes as he
pleases. He keeps the refrigerator stocked. I'm ready to
get out, but he's real cool about things. He expects me
to shovel. And he expects me to follow the rules around the
house. He does have the same expectations, but it's at a
lower level. I'm doing my thing, trying to get a job. He
hears stuff about changes in schools, and he comes and tells
me. He has a lot of connections around the city. But I can
still ask him for money. None of my roommates would ever let
me do that.
DO YOU HAVE TO TRY TO FIT IN DIFFERENTLY?
Koller: Every day I ask myself, "How do I fit into
this?" I'm not with the same people I've been
with the past three years. I'm not affecting lives the
same way. It's trying to find a purpose in this new
environment. I'm not as concerned with "fitting
in" or being with a group of peers. I have certain
friends I remain in contact with. And I'm engaged, so
that's a big part of my life. My social circle has gotten
a lot smaller, which I like.
Oyewole: You weed out the garbage a lot. I always had a lot
of acquaintances, but I have few friends. Even the few
friends you have, it's just like who's the dead
weight and who's the one pushing me up? Once you find out
who the dead weight is, you're just like, "
'Bye.' "
Barton: Out of my friends, I'm the only one that's
graduated. All the rest are still in school. I'm by
myself having to make those people who were just
acquaintances – bring them closer to a friend level.
But it's not like that bond you have with those people
you grew up with. People during the week, like my old
roommates, are cool to hang out with. If I really needed
something or some advice, it would be from the old people.
Shen: Most of my friends are in Minneapolis. I'm just
here by myself. I have to make some new friends, which I did,
through work, social events.
DO YOU MISS COLLEGE?
Oyewole: Just being on campus and running into your friends
– that's the stuff you miss. But I'm glad
I'm done with school. There are certain things you grow
out of. The parties aren't fun anymore.
Koller: College is a really wonderful thing between the ages
of 18 and 21-22. But I was ready to move on. I miss it, but
it will never be what it was during that time. I'm really
happy now. I enjoyed my years there, but I can't
re-create them.
Shen: I miss MCAD. In college, you are with your friends all
the time, go to class. Especially at my school, classes are
much smaller. I control 100 percent the creative part of my
project. Now, I work with clients, and I really don't
control that part of the project anymore. I can put my
creation out, but I often get rejected. It's the real
world.
Barton: I don't miss it. I didn't like getting up for
class. I hated night classes. I miss some of the professors
more than I miss some of the students.
WHAT'S NOT TO ENJOY ABOUT THE PARTIES?
Oyewole: When you're a freshman, you think, "Wow.
Older people." You're looking at the guy who's a
junior. You're just doing your thing. Now, you've
seen it all, done it all. My friends in school now are still
doing the party thing. I do not have any business at a
college party anymore. I have a boyfriend now. I have all my
friends. Parties are where to go to meet and mingle with
people. Once you got your people, you're pretty much set.
DO YOU FEEL YOU'RE USING YOUR DEGREE?
Oyewole: I don't think I'm using my degree to the
capacity that I would like. The job I'm at, I've been
there for four years. I do a lot of things that kind of deal
with my degree, but I don't do enough. I want to be doing
something that's always dealing with my degree, all the
time.
Barton: Not really. I don't have to do lesson plans. I
don't give tests. I just kind of hang out. It's a
good time to work on my classroom management – managing
the kids to get them to do what I want without exuding too
much energy. That's something good that's coming out
of it.
Shen: I am, definitely. I am working every day doing the
things I learned about in school. I learn the real industry.
It's great.
Koller: You learn a lot of life skills in college –
interacting with people, basic things. My job didn't even
require a college degree. That's an issue.
WHEN YOU'RE UNDERUSING YOUR TALENTS, HOW DOES THAT AFFECT
YOUR MORALE?
Koller: This is going to sound cheesy, but I have one of
those Farmer's Almanac calendars. Right after the first
of the year – I think it was a Benjamin Franklin saying
– "What's the point of a sundial in the shade?
Use your talents for what they're made." I took that
to work with me and pinned it up for inspiration.
Oyewole: With the economy as it is, people are cutting back
so much. If you don't use what you know, eventually
you're going to be outdated. Even though I'm not
using all my marketing stuff, I do use it at work. I have to
keep myself busy. Keep yourself up with what's going on.
DO YOU COMPARE YOURSELVES WITH WHERE YOUR FRIENDS ARE AT?
Oyewole: When I was first out of school, I was really
confused. My friends who got out of school and right away got
a job or right away went to grad school – I was like,
"Man, why didn't I figure this stuff out
before?" I always knew I wanted to go to grad school. I
was like, "Wait a minute. I need to take a break and
know if this is what I really want to do." You compare
yourself with other people. How do they have it figured out?
Then, you come to learn that they don't. It just happened
that way for them.
Koller: A lot of my classmates are in a similar situation.
We're all struggling to find a job we really want.
It's comforting to know everyone is feeling the same
thing right now. It makes it just a little bit more bearable.
Barton: There are certain people I know who work a job at a
grocery store 50 hours a week. They can buy stuff. I
don't want to work 50 hours a week at a grocery store to
buy stuff. I'd rather do what I'm doing now, get a
real job and then be able to buy stuff. I'd much rather
be happy than be able to buy something, like new shoes.
Shen: Most of my friends are working, but they're not
really doing art. Going to art school is a risky thing. Most
artists cannot make a living making art. They do other
things. But they're doing their own work, own projects,
on their own time. My friends and I are in the same boat.
EMILY MENTIONED THE WORD "PURPOSE." DO YOU FEEL
YOU'RE ON TRACK?
Koller: I'd like to think I'm on track, but there are
so many things you can't control now, like the economy,
finding the job you really want. To me, that is the next big
thing: to pursue something I really love. I think I'd
feel a lot better about myself right now if I were doing
something more along those lines. Most of my friends feel the
same way. It's such a weird time of your life – to
leave college, adjust to the adult world. You're pulled
in both directions.
Barton: It's a question of time. I know I want to teach.
That's what I love doing. I'm looking for a career,
rather than just a job.
Shen: I always just wanted to be a fine-arts photographer.
Until now, most of my work is very commercial. It's for
paying the bills. I'm applying for graduate school. I
hope a graduate degree will open a lot more doors in the
fine-arts world in New York.
DO YOU WORRY ABOUT THE ECONOMY? WILL IT AFFECT HOW YOU VOTE?
Oyewole: I went to Nigeria over the holiday break. Stopping
over in Europe, talking to people from other countries,
talking to people in Africa – everybody hates our
president. It's not just us. I don't think he's
making smart decisions. We found Saddam, but it doesn't
do anything for us here – the kids who need books for
school, all that kind of stuff. I'm definitely watching
the economy. When we lived at Mom and Dad's house, who
cared? But now that we have to deal with it, I'm watching
it.
Koller: Affordable health care, being able to afford college
– things that I never used to think about, now, yeah,
that would affect the way I vote. My health insurance went up
a lot. I can see evidence of it in my day-to-day living. Mac
(Macalaster College) is a very politically conscious place so
it was always in your face. But you weren't forced to
deal with it when you were still under your parents'
care.
Barton: All the job cuts in Minneapolis schools are the big
thing. But I've been talking to teachers, and
they're, like, 'Just wait.' They pull this all
the time. They have to hire young teachers because all the
other ones they let go are quality teachers, so they get
picked up in different districts."
Shen: The economy plays a huge role in the arts. A lot of
galleries have been shut down because nobody is purchasing
fine-art work anymore. Two, three years ago, it was totally
different. I hope it will get better.
DO YOU THINK ABOUT BEING MARRIED? HAVING KIDS?
Oyewole: You always think about, "Ohhh, I want to be
married when I'm 25." But that doesn't always
quite happen. In five years, I want to be done with school. I
better be done with school. I want to have my own business
eventually, hopefully with Puff Daddy. I would like to be
married. I'd like to have kids. I don't want to have
kids when I'm too old 'cause I still want to look
good.
Koller: I'm planning a wedding. That's the best part
of my life right now. Every day, we talk about our jobs,
where we want to be. Getting through it together has made all
the difference. I'm looking at my friends' awful
dating tales. I'm glad I don't have to deal with
that. That's what makes everything else – besides
my job – so fun and so fulfilling. Obviously, you talk
about kids, where we want to be, if we want to buy a house.
Right now, we're so young. Kids: not before 30! Maybe.
You never know.
Barton: I would love to be married. I would love to be in a
relationship right now. But it's just not in the cards.
So, I'm more focused on school. But if she happens to
wander into my life, I'm not going to put her off until I
get a teaching job. The way I'm looking at it right now,
if I take care of my stuff and get myself established,
everything will just fall into place. It's tough to wait,
but I don't want to settle.
Oyewole: Please don't. My mom always used to tell us,
"Cheap is expensive," meaning that when you buy
cheap stuff, you end up paying more, doing more, when you
could have just bought something that was a little more
quality – and a little more money – but it would
last you longer. That's just like with a mate. I've
been with some real uhhhhs (losers). "What was I on when
I was talking to you?" Now that I have my boyfriend,
he's just like my peace of mind. You just wait for the
right one. Don't wait for the silly ones. You'll just
be mad at yourself all the time.
Shen: I think being married and having a family is the last
thing I would think of right now. It's definitely not
high on my list. All I think about, really, is work. I would
like to have a family one day, but for now, I probably
won't really think about it.
ARE THINGS MOVING TOO SLOWLY, TOO FAST, JUST RIGHT?
Oyewole: It depends on what mood, what day. At the beginning,
things were moving way too slow. I was ready to shoot myself
in the head: What am I supposed to do? Now things are moving
on track. I'm about to start school. At least, I have a
job. Things are starting to move at the right pace and in the
right direction.
Shen: When I first moved to New York, it was really slow. I
worked really hard to get my portfolio out. But nothing
happened. In six months, I get connected. I like the pace
right now. It's right for me. Working in the studio, I do
exactly what I learned in school. Plus, I'm doing my own
thing.
Koller: By anyone else's standards, I've probably
done a ton since I graduated. But it feels like my life is
pretty slow. I just need a lot going on. I'm really
impatient. My dad said, "You just need to relax. Take
this time to recharge your batteries after college." I
said, "OK. I'll see what I can do." This is
probably the least stressed I've ever been. There's
something to be said for that.
Barton: Everyone says you're never going to be able to do
this any other time in your life – take a break like
this. It's lovely. I would rather be teaching, but
it's lovely to just go out at night and sleep in until 3.
It's wonderful. I'm loving it. I'm living it up
as much as I can.
___
Rhoda Fukushima can be reached at
rgfukushima@pioneerpress.com.
___
ABOUT THE SERIES:
Over the next year, the Knight Ridder Newspapers will track
four college graduates from Minnesota schools as they start
to make their way in the world. They're already finding
that it's tough out there – jobs are scarce,
apartments are expensive, and Mom and Dad aren't around
to help. This is the third installment in the series
chronicling the graduates' struggles and successes.
See an archive of this series and a slide show of photos at
www.twincities.com. Click on Special Reports for a link to
the package.
___
© 2003, Saint Paul Pioneer Press (St. Paul, Minn.).
Visit the World Wide Web site of the Pioneer Press at
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Richard Marshall / KRT Campus
Richard Marshall / KRT Campus