Relationship Controversy

Jennifer Toadvine and Hannah Sterwartson / Columnists

How do you define a lover? Where is the line drawn between morality and sexual activity?
Since morality is so commonly associated with abstinence, what exactly is abstinence? It's obviously a life free of sexual intercourse, but does oral sex cross the line as well? Making out? Feeling up? Or perhaps the most taboo, masturbation?

With our society becoming more and more acceptable of active sex lives, there are still so many questions about intimacy. How can a person express their feelings of love while still being moral?

Throughout my whole education, I was told,"Don't have sex, don't have sex." But I never understood; a lover and a best friend are different. How can I show my love and still be morally acceptable? I am constantly told what I can't do, but never am I told what I can do to express my inner feelings.

Let's look at the culprit. Sex comes in stages. You first realize that another person can make you feel a way you never have before.

This feeling leads to that first awkward make-out session where you have no clue what to do and you're just praying that the other person thinks that you're doing a good job.

Then you move on to exploring each others bodies a little more intimately. Hands go up shirts and down pants. Oh goodness, here comes sex.

It's all part of growing up. And if growing up is morally wrong then crucify me. The problem is people are irresponsible about their sex lives, and are giving sex a bad name.

If the question of "should I do this?" arises at that intimate moment, the answer is NO.

Sex should be accepted when both partners are comfortable with the situation and know what it fully entails. If anything?? be it making out, feeling up or having sex? is an act of love between two people who truly care about each other, how can it not be moral?

It is merely human nature to be a sexual being. Humans are mammals. Mammals are sexual. Sex is natural. On a much deeper level than just physical, animal love, sex, when shared between two people who have a deep love for each other, can be a beautifully moral and rewarding thing.

Contact Jennifer Toadvine and Hannah Sterwartson at pendulum@elon.edu or 278-7247.