The GURU

“Dear Guru -A close guy friend of mine invited me over to watch a movie, and told me he really liked me. We hooked up, but since then he has gone back to acting just like a friend. I don’t get it!”

Just picture it. The lights are off. It’s just the two of you. The movie is playing faintly in the background and suddenly that nasty old couch he bought at Goodwill isn’t as uncomfortable as it had originally appeared.

Movie magic.

If this were just an ordinary flick-to-feeling-up encounter I would place it into the “steamy sex scene victims” category.

However, you mentioned that he said he “likes” you — which puts this in a whole different genre.

First, it’s important to decipher your feelings. Do you like him back?

If not, then the matter is settled. Simply follow along with his “lets not mention it” attitude.

Judging by your question, however, I suspect you are feeling a little more than simple irritation as your motive for inquiring. If that is indeed the case, then it’s time to truly figure this all out.

Could it be you?

No, I’m not suggesting that you grossed him out by your potent popcorn breath — although dental hygiene is very important for any relationship.

What I am talking about is your behavior. How did you react to his declaration?

Did you play it off as nothing, pretending to take it in stride like all true game masters? As shocking as it may sound, there is such thing as being too good at the game.

A dear friend of mine played the “catch me if you can” a little too well with one guy. After he told her about his feelings and then sweetly asked for a kiss, she blurted out sarcastically, “I need a beer before that happens.”

And this was the man she had been pining for all semester!

My point is that if you didn’t react the way he had hoped you would, he could simply be embarrassed. It’s also possible he is afraid you don’t like him back. In that case, he is probably trying to act cool in order to salvage his pride.

On the other hand, he could be simply taking advantage of a situation. He wouldn’t be the first man (or woman, for that matter) to claim feelings in order to get into bed.

I wasn’t there so you need to judge his sincerity on your own.

On the other hand, you could have said something that scared him off. Acting too eager too early can be almost as detrimental as not being excited enough. If you hinted about something developing between you, it may have frightened him.

If the case is that he is simply skittish or embarrassed, what you need is a plan. Set up a situation where you two will be alone and in close quarters. Something intimate, like watching a movie together. Hmmmm …

Sound familiar? Then see where it leads. Hopefully, this sequel will earn you at least one, um, thumb up.