‘My Mom was Wonder Woman’

Losing a parent changes everything. How you see the world. How you build relationships. How you understand risk, love and time.

Aidan Steinbach ’23 knows this all too well. He was just seven years old when his mother died. A respected scholar and professor of public health, Michelle Mayer dedicated her life to bringing quality healthcare to communities in need before her life was cut short by a rare autoimmune disease that she battled for more than 12 years. She was 39 years old.

To honor her memory, Steinbach made a $2 million estate gift to create the Michelle Mayer Endowed Scholarship. The scholarship will assist students who have experienced the death of a parent or guardian, with first preference given to entrepreneurship majors in Elon’s Martha and Spencer Love School of Business, where Steinbach earned his degree in management in 2023.

Endowing the scholarship is Steinbach’s way of paying tribute to his mother—who helped fund his Elon education—and helping future generations of students grappling with the same kind of loss he experienced.

“My Mom was Wonder Woman,” Steinbach said. “That’s who your mom is when you’re seven years old. She’s the person who protects you, clothes and feeds you, and teaches you right from wrong. I miss her every day.”

Mayer was also someone who valued education and ensured Steinbach and his older sister Amelia had the chance to go to college.

“My Mom wasn’t wealthy. She didn’t leave behind real estate or investments or anything you’d call an estate,” Steinbach said. “What she left was a life insurance policy that helped pay for my Elon education. I got to go to school debt-free because my mother died. I’ve sat with that fact for most of my life. It’s not something you ever fully resolve. You just learn to carry it.”

Michelle Lynn Mayer died October 11, 2008, at the Duke Hospice Inpatient Care Facility in Durham, North Carolina, after battling scleroderma, part of a group of chronic autoimmune disorders marked by hardening and tightening of the skin. Scleroderma can also damage the lungs, heart, kidneys, digestive track, muscles and joints, and other internal organs.

It was a struggle Mayer chronicled in her blog, “Diary of a Dying Mom,” where she wrote essays on parenting, living and dying to help families facing the challenges of terminal illnesses.

“I deal with the topic of death head-on in an unflinching way,” Mayer wrote in one entry. “I believe that, as a culture, we shy away from anything surrounding death and, consequently, deprive ourselves of all the lessons inherent in the dying and grieving process. We ignore the reality that death is as much a part of life as birth.”

A Philadelphia native, Mayer graduated summa cum laude from the University of Pennsylvania (1990) with a bachelor’s degree in nursing and a minor in economics from the Wharton School of Business, before earning her master’s degree in public health education (1992) and a doctorate in health policy and administration from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (1997). During her doctoral program, Mayer also served as a health economics consultant for the World Bank in Washington, D.C., and in Nairobi, Kenya.

In 1997, Mayer married Dr. William J. Steinbach after the two met as graduate students at UNC.

The couple (and later their young children) briefly lived in California during Dr. Steinbach’s medical residency. During this time, Mayer worked as a clinical research associate in the Department of Pediatrics at Stanford University and as research director of the Children’s Health Initiative at the Lucile S. Packard Children’s Hospital in Palo Alto, California. The family then moved back to the Triangle in 2001, and Mayer served as a research fellow at the Cecil G. Sheps Center for Health Services Research and a research assistant professor in the School of Public Health at UNC-Chapel Hill, until stepping down in 2007 due to her illness.

In the family’s Durham neighborhood, Mayer started a group for families with young children, which was a vital source of support for her family during her illness. Mayer also regularly volunteered at her children’s school, even after the disease had curtailed many of her daily activities. Throughout her ordeal, Mayer remained passionate about improving access to quality healthcare for underserved communities, supporting women and families, and promoting awareness of scleroderma.

Steinbach is grateful to his mother for giving him the gift of education. He is equally grateful to Elon for providing him with an outstanding experience, including participation in the Isabella Cannon Leadership Fellows program and Doherty Center for Creativity, Innovation and Entrepreneurship, which prepared him for success. Steinbach, who lives in San Francisco, is a banker at Erebor and also runs his own consulting firm, working with companies backed by Andreessen Horowitz, Y Combinator and others.

Steinbach hopes the scholarship will encourage students to follow their dreams, knowing someone is willing to invest in their success.

“My mother inspired me to be a better person. I hope this scholarship inspires others to be better as well, and, in turn, to own that obligation as they go out into the world,” he said. “Elon gave me a chance during a stretch of my life when the odds weren’t obviously in my favor. The scholarship is my attempt to extend that same chance to someone else who didn’t ask for what happened to them, but is still here trying to figure out what comes next.”

“Aidan’s desire to honor his mother’s legacy while creating opportunity for others is a wonderful example of the power of philanthropy to change lives,” said Leanna Giles ’02, associate director of planned giving. “He didn’t just want to honor her memory—he wanted to transform something painful into possibility for someone else. For that, the Elon community is grateful.”

Make An Impact

To learn how you can make an impact at Elon through your estate, contact Leanna Giles ’02, associate director of planned giving, at (336) 278-5798 or lgiles@elon.edu.