One program at Elon invites compassion and companionship for those traveling in their grief and loss journey.
This story was originally published in the November issue of The Leaflet, Elon’s quarterly printed newsletter.
Grief can provide irritation at best to the calmest day and turmoil at worst. It can show up unexpectedly and anywhere, including at work. Whether the type of grief that is present is familiar or new, it is often easier to navigate with the consultation and support of others.
“When that wave of grief comes, Elon employees have support. They have resources, conversations and community-building to help and to make space for grief,” said the Rev. Julie Tonnesen, associate university chaplain and leader of the Grief and Loss Support Group for Elon employees through the Truitt Center for Religious and Spiritual Life.
“In this group, we talk about grief because it begins to lose its power over us when we both normalize talking about it and bring our grieving journey to light with others,” Tonnesen said.
The Grief and Loss Support Group is open to any employee and allows members to self-define what grief or loss looks like to them. Each month, members join for lunch at the Truitt Center for Religious and Spiritual Life and move into a discussion or an activity.
Tonnesen said members are welcome to come as they are and say as much or as little as they want in the group. Any person of any background, identity or religious or spiritual background is invited.
Chekeitha Chambers, administrative assistant for University Communications, is a recent participant in the group and attends when she is able. She said she finds comfort in talking with people walking in similar shoes as hers and who share a similar path in their grief journey.
“It’s a safe space where we are able to let our guards down, share, encourage and just be present with one another,” Chambers said. “This group strengthens me and reminds me I’m not alone.”
Catherine Little, administrative assistant for Student Life, also is a newer member to the group and wishes a program like this existed at her previous job. “I’ve always thought you couldn’t talk about things like grief at work,” she said. “It’s great having a place to discuss more personal things with others going through something similar.
“It’s great to network with others in your same circumstance,” said Little. “Having a group like this acknowledges you’ve had this huge event in your life and gives you a place to try to be able to process it.”
Before attending this support group, both Little and Chambers initially shared a belief that work and life are separate and grief is something to not bring into the workplace.
“I didn’t really see how grief impacted my work,” said Chambers, “but I’ve learned from this group that emotions can spring up anywhere and everywhere.” She said emotions can come from a date on the calendar, an event happening on campus or even mementos or souvenirs in the office.
Little joined the group initially unsure if it was something she needed, but she had a hunch it would be a group that she would feel comfortable in. “Participants have really helped me to share my story and express how I felt,” she said. “This group provided me my first opportunity to talk to someone who shared similar struggles as me.”
Tonnesen said that people show up to work and in life in the fullness of who they are. “We don’t get to put our humanity in a box and stuff it away on a shelf when we come to work,” she said. “And oftentimes that means people who are carrying some kind of grief or loss.”
Tonnesen says that, through this group and other employee benefits, there are people who care and who are willing to make space. She, Little and Chambers shared the same message for all in the community: “You are not alone.”
Grief and Loss Support
To learn more about the Grief and Loss Support Group for employees, please email Julie Tonnesen at jtonnesen@elon.edu. For additional employee resources, please consider:
- Elon employee assistance program offered by McLaughlin Young Group
- Blue Cross and Blue Shield plans with behavioral health coverage, including Teledoc