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Rape Prevention: What Men Can Do
All men can play a vital role in rape prevention. Here are a
few of the ways:
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Be aware of language. Words are very
powerful, especially when spoken by people with power over
others. We live in a society in which words are often used
to put women down, where calling a girl or woman a
"bitch," "freak," "whore,"
"baby," or "dog" is common. Such
language sends a message that females are less than fully
human. When we see women as inferior, it becomes easier to
treat them with less respect, disregard their rights, and
ignore their well-being.
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Communicate. Sexual violence often goes
hand in hand with poor communication. Our discomfort with
talking honestly and openly about sex dramatically raises
the risk of rape. By learning effective sexual
communication -- stating your desires clearly, listening to
your partner, and asking when the situation is unclear --
men make sex safer for themselves and others.
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Speak up. You will probably never see a
rape in progress, but you will see and hear attitudes and
behaviors that degrade women and promote rape. When your
best friend tells a joke about rape, say you don't find
it funny. When you read an article that blames a rape
survivor for being assaulted, write a letter to the editor.
When laws are proposed that limit women's rights, let
politicians know that you won't support them. Do
anything but remain silent.
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Support survivors of rape. Rape will not
be taken seriously until everyone knows how common it is.
In the U.S. alone, more than one million women and girls
are raped each year (Rape in America, 1992). By learning to
sensitively support survivors in their lives, men can help
both women and other men feel safer to speak out about
being raped and let the world know how serious a problem
rape is.
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Contribute your time and money. Join or
donate to an organization working to prevent violence
against women. Rape crisis centers, domestic violence
agencies, and men's anti-rape groups count on donations
for their survival and always need volunteers to share the
workload.
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Talk with women... about how the risk of
being raped affects their daily lives; about how they want
to be supported if it has happened to them; about what they
think men can do to prevent sexual violence. If you're
willing to listen, you can learn a lot from women about the
impact of rape and how to stop it.
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Talk with men... about how it feels to be
seen as a potential rapist; about the fact that 10-20% of
all males will be sexually abused in their lifetimes; about
whether they know someone who's been raped. Learn about
how sexual violence touches the lives of men and what we
can do to stop it.
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Organize. Form your own organization of
men focused on stopping sexual violence. Men's
anti-rape groups are becoming more and more common around
the country, especially on college campuses. If you have
the time and the drive, it is a wonderful way to make a
difference in your community.
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Work against other oppressions. Rape feeds
off many other forms of prejudice -- including racism,
homophobia, and religious discrimination. By speaking out
against any beliefs and behaviors, including rape, that
promote one group of people as superior to another and deny
other groups their full humanity, you support
everyone's equality.
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Don't ever have sex with anyone against their
will! No matter what. Although statistics show
most men never rape, the overwhelming majority of rapists
are male. Make a promise to yourself to be a different kind
of man -- one who values equality and whose strength is not
used for hurting.
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